A typical morning in the village of Loi dawns like any other in rural Vietnam- mothers bustle around, hurrying their children off to school and preparing for another day toiling in the paddy fields. But there is one marked difference between this small settlement and anywhere else in the country, and that is that in the midst of this daily domestic chaos, there are no fathers to be found.
Far from being widows of what is locally known as the ‘American War,’ these seemingly average women are in fact trailblazers in conservative Vietnam, actively choosing to be single mothers. Whilst they did not lose husbands in combat, the war did serve to sever their chances of ever establishing a traditional nuclear family model.
In the seventies, average age for marriage was around 16- girls aged 20 or over were considered “qua lua,” meaning past marriageable age. Many girls who came of age during war time either aged out eligibility by the time the local men returned from fighting, or were themselves too involved in the revolution to consider their prospects until it was too late. By the time the war was over, not only was there a massive gender imbalance due to high male mortality, the remaining men preferred younger generations for marriage over their female peers, many of whom were now well into their twenties.
Many girls who came of age during war time either aged out eligibility by the time the local men returned from fighting, or were themselves too involved in the revolution to consider their prospects until it was too late.
Previous generations of females in this situation usually had no choice but to accept their fate. But this generation was different. Raised in conflict, taught to fight to the end, the women of Loi were not prepared to lose their chance at having a family of their own. Individually, they began approaching men, asking them to help them make a baby. After the deed was done, there would be no more contact between the pair. At the time, there were thousands of women raising children alone in Vietnam, however what was different was that, for mothers who had conceived children in the pre-revolutionary period, choosing to start out alone from the outset would have been unthinkable.
These women were not only thinking of their immediate desire to be a mother however. In traditionally Vietnam, filial duty is very much part of the culture. Those who do not have children or close younger relatives are left without care in their elderly years.
Since that time, the government has begun working with international organizations to push for gender equality and to improve the health and education of women
It was existence of this group of women in Loi and countless others around the country who in part contributed to the government’s decision in 1986 to recognise single mothers and their children as legally legitimate. Since that time, the government has begun working with international organizations to push for gender equality and to improve the health and education of women. Whilst even today single mothers in rural Vietnam face hardship, poverty and prejudice, their prospects are much improved by the groundbreaking post-war efforts of previous generations, who attracted attention not only of their local communities, but gender equality activists all over the world.
